the things kids say and do...at least the ones that are mine!!

...so if you know anything about me, it's got to be the fact that i am currently a full time mum to two sweet, energetic, fun loving, frustration inducing, crazy talking, lovable rogue boys - ayaan, the older one who is currently 4 years old and aman, the youngest (not to mention naughtiest) member of our family who is  currently 2 years old.

they take up all my time, every single ounce of patience, every last reserve of energy and even more. i have to be totally honest here - as much as i totally adore them, i sometimes wonder why i had them. is it because i hated sleep and figured i should find a way of getting a maximum  (yes, you read that right - i said maximum) of 6 and half hours of sleep every night? was it because i hated having a lie-in and wanted to be up and on the go at 6:30am every morning?? and OF COURSE that includes sundays? if anything, especially sundays, as on those days they are even known to wake up at a little past 5:00am. the tiny monkeys , how do they KNOW it is the one day that even god rested? but can their own mum rest?? no chance.

so why did i have kids? was it because i wanted to know what it was like to take a minimum of 6 breaks while trying, very patiently, to have a meal? mommy, i want water; mommy can you please take a look at this now....no mommy, not in two minutes, NOW??; mommy, aman is hitting me; mommy, ayaan took my bike; mommy, i hurt my finger, can you kiss it better?; mommy, i'm hungry, i want some of your food.... you get the general gist, dont you?? i have since deduced that in order for me to eat my meal in one single sitting without any interruptions whatsoever, it would have to be in 14.6 seconds. it's a hard one to achieve, but i'm practising and getting closer each day.

so, since i AM a full time mum and since that takes all my time, my focus and my thought, i have been pondering over that much asked question (ask any full time mum - she asks herself this question about 117 times a day) "WHY did i have kids?" at first, i came up with the classic answers, "so i could pass on my gene pool" or "so i could relive my childhood again."
then i came up with the depressing answers " so i could spend all the money that i could have spent on hedonistic shopping sprees, exotic annual holidays and weekly spa treatment on funfairs, animal farms and aquariums instead." that made me want to cry many, many tears and i'd probably have to clean up the mess myself so i figured that could not  be the answer i'm looking for.

finally, i had an epiphany. i had my answer. and here it is:
i had my kids in order to be entertained!! yes, i know that sounds frivolous, and it wasnt the intention when i was pro-creating, but as it turns out, that is what has happened! do i hear you asking for proof? i do? well, then its a good job that i came well prepared, isnt it?

here are only the beginning of some of the entertaining and endearing things that my kids have said or done in the past few weeks/months/days:

1.ayaan says to aman while in the shower, "now - do you want some water?" aman, "yes." ayaan, "well, then you have to say please." aman, "peas." ayaan, "good boy!" (gives him the water) "now say thank you." aman, "tan doo." perfect! teach one kid manners and the other comes pre-trained!!

2. ayaan (at age three), "mummy, where did i come from?" me, "from london." that seemed to have done the trick! he went back to doing whatever it was that he was doing - joy!

3. ayaan (a few weeks ago), "mummy where did i come from?" me, "from london." unfortunately, this time around it didnt quite work, and he pressed on, "no, but mummy, where did i come from?" me, "you came from my tummy, baby." "from your tummy?? was i very small??" me, "yes you were." ayaan, "as tiny as a germ? me, "well, yes, at one point you were as tiny as a germ." so then he thinks about it for a few minutes and then comes up with, what i thought was, the most brilliant analysis - "so i was a germ in your tummy and then your tummy was not feeling well, so you coughed and coughed and COUGHED LOUDLY and i FLEW up in the air from your mouth and then you caught me with your hands." me, "yes, ayaan, that is EXACTLY what happened. what a clever little boy you are!!!!"

4. i was trying to entertain aman, and after reading him a story i said to him, "now you tell me a story." and he says, "ok mummy, one day there was a cat. then the cat went to sleep. story finished!!!" and thus my two year old invented the world's shortest story!!

5. "har har!!" ayaan says about a week ago. "HAR, HAR!! i am going on a ship and away i sail!" "really?", i say. "what are you?" "i'm a PARROT!!!!" i'm still smiling about that one! :)

6. ayaan said to his dad after he had had a long day at work, "daddy, you smell smelly. you MUST shower before you go to work tomorrow, ok?" see? not only do they offer entertainment, but also brutal honesty at it's best!

7. the other day, i saw aman having a little conversation with a millipede in the house. "millipede, walk slowly so i can touch you. MILLIPEDE, listen to me!!!!" after which, he came complaining to me, "that millipede is not listening to me." sorry darling, i will enroll millipede on that training program for better listening skills tomorrow...sigh.

the list can and does go on and on, and will be updated from time to time in this blog. but for now, my two little rogues are in bed. which means i can have that ever-elusive uninterrupted meal. hell, i can even sneak in a very well deserved dessert.